FREE YOURSELF...MY JOURNEY

SPARE 👑 📖 WORTH THE HYPE❣️

 
I'm normally, not the kind of person that follows all the hype...
 But Prince Harry really has an amazing book, audio book or however you choose to read or listen to his story.
What I always say about removing titles... taking the time to learn about someone's back story. 
For anyone, who is also a black sheep or has sibling rivalry. You will be most appreciate of the words and sometimes heartbreak. How it used to be and how it has become. 
 The depths of dysfunctional family at its finest, kept under strict lock and close doors comes to life and the story begins. The dysfunctional life, of family royalty, that shows us... no one and no family is perfect.
 I got a few gift cards to Amazon Audibles and welcomed, introduced into the world of audiobooks. A first for me, from my dear friend who wrote in the card, "Kimberly, maybe you need to start introducing audiobooks into your life. So here are a few gift cards for your listening pleasure."
 And so this is my 2nd and favorite selection, so far and a little insert of all the hype. Most definitely worth a read or audio book purchase!
I don't have enough thumbs up! And, I'm not just going along with all the hype! In less than 24 hours... onto chapter 36!
👍👍❣️👍👍
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

Learning To Make Peace With Loss👍🤍😌🤍👍

 
I don't really know, who would be OK, when reality finally hits you...
For the mere 1% of the public, in my opinion, that exists. Those whom tried, but were unsuccessful, in great attempts to have children.
 When I married this last time... I married two..
 That included, becoming a stepmother. Becoming a stepmother that includes, many milestones that you'll experience with someone who has a young child. Those milestones, included watching my stepson graduate from high school. Watching him get married. And lastly, becoming a grandmother one day. Those are milestones, that I planned on celebrating with him. 
 What I have come to realize is that, I have been cheated out of every single, last milestone. Once in a lifetime memories, that I will not be a part of. When you're cheated out of special events and finally becoming a parent... regardless even becoming a step parent...  I don't know anyone who could sit back and not be damn right angry. 
The facts and truth of the matter is...
 I made critical decisions, with a child psychologist, when I became very seriously ill with an ovarian tumor that had years to grow. I spent almost a year begging and pleading for someone to take my case because I was slowly becoming extremely ill and I could feel my body begin shutting down. I got that answer, when I met a professor in the State of Ohio who realized it wasn't just a tumor. I had advanced ovarian cancer. 2 days later.. I was whisked away to a large oncology group. In less than a week... I began advanced fast track treatments. I maxed out all treatment options, over the past six years. Not one single treatment successfully gave me any type of miraculous cure... but only slowed as much as it could the progression of the tumor. Then secondary lesions started to appear on scans and smaller new growths on other organs. 
What I am experiencing now, emotionally, is downright anger. Anger towards a spouse, who promised me, he'd never leave my side or let me die alone. You left someone, that you knew was battling something greater then I could handle... my health. You also knew, my struggles to have children throughout my lifetime. You took away those once in a lifetime memories and milestones of celebrating with my stepson. You took that right away from me because you weren't interested in getting therapy, help for demons you were fighting. Demons that were there, long before I met you. You instead were caught googling how to not be a spouse or caregiver. You already weren't either of the two.
For that... I'm damn right angry at you and my right to realize those milestones with my stepson. And not be treated as I am now... like a 90 year old woman abandoned in a nursing home, left to die alone. 
 I wouldn't expect to feel like myself now, due to what my therapist expresses to me, "Great losses of lifetime memories."
I don't know who the hell wouldn't be angry, to be quite frank and honest. And unless you're in my shoes... right now. Don't anyone try to feed me some bogus lies by saying, you understand how I feel. Or... judge me on how I feel now, because I have every right to how I feel. 
 I've had to contact an attorney yesterday and make changes in my final will. I have had to sit down and write my own obituary. All because in fear, somewhat would write it for me that is estranged and no longer knows me. Let's face it, we haven't seen each other and we haven't known each other, for some... in over a decade. You don't know me anymore... and I don't know you. So, you can't possibly write an obituary for someone, you no longer know... me. 
 It's been tough as hell, working through new emotions and a lot of swift reality. Per my therapist, I have placed in the back of my mind and in fear of one day... I will have to address it straight forward. I am addressing all of those losses, great losses of life... but most importantly the opportunity to be a mother. I don't care if it's being a stepmother. The title means nothing to me, because I know I always put my stepson first while making tough decisions over the years. Decisions that also protected him from seeing me sick, going through treatments and not feeling like myself. Hello folks! Cancer changes people, but it's never any excuse to abandon and omit the patient. I also shielded my stepson, from dysfunction among both sides of the family. I vowed to allow him, to live a normal life, as much as possible. The ability to enjoy being a kid... now a teenager. As I sit and write this... I can now say, I did my best. With no regrets. 
Don't expect the same person... because I'm not the same person. I am entitled, to how I feel. I am entitled, to my emotions and I'm entitled to face reality of changes. Changes that I didn't ask for in my life. But that, were made for me. Some... I had to suck it up, and except. 
 For anyone, who wasn't there emotionally. For anyone, who wasn't there supporting me unconditionally.. I'm sorry, but you can't expect me to be there for you... because I can't. Anyone, who said or showed me by your actions, lack of... you couldn't handle, being of emotional support throughout the years. I am sorry, but I can't be there for you emotionally either. Why you may ask? Because I've learned that relations, are a two-way street... regardless of what kind of relationship it may be in your life. 
The changes, and far-too-many changes, that I have gone through throughout my life... have forever changed me. Most for the better, and some for the worse. 
But one thing is true...
I will always remain that genuine, raw, up-front and in your face, kind of person. That's your decision, whether you like me or not. In the end, it won't matter either way. What matters in the end, is self respect and self love. Acceptance of oneself... no matter how flawed. 
Take it or leave it... this is me. 
♡~Kimberly
Gastroparesis Awareness Campaign Org.
Founder
***
Free Yourself...My Journey
Podcast/Entertainment Channel Owner
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Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

God ALWAYS Has You Covered... Fact❣️

 
It's nice still having holiday cards coming in the mail.
Greetings even... overseas helps brighten any day. 
Kindness... Compassion... Understanding is what this world is in desperately need of...
What society, and people overwhelmingly lack.
❣️🌍❣️🌎❣️🌏
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

What Cancer DOES Give YOU 👊❣️👊

 
The fear cancer created gave me the self-confidence to speak up and live the life which was right for me.
By living the life which I wanted to... I found parts of me I did really like... which also built my self-confidence.
#SELF-RESPECT.
👊👊❣️👊👊
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

Chronic Illness... How Society Deals💡

 
Feeling left alone and abandoned with chronic illness? You are not alone. Many people experience abandonment at some point during their journey.
 "It was like... I was screaming for help in a soundproof box. People could see me, but they couldn't understand me... so they just kept walking away from me."
 Feelings of abandonment during chronic illness, end of the journey of life... runs deep for many patients. Working on this means, you acknowledge that you're serious of how others view and treat you.
You're not silly or weak for your feelings, hurt by loss... when many run away from you, instead of towards you.
"Supporting you".
You're stronger for wanting to face it, your feelings. It shows... you are not ready to abandon yourself.
Be proud of YOU❣️
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Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

Pain... Changes... 😶😶‍🌫️😐 Everything.

 
One thing that I can't live with... is this constant, worsening of pain. Non-stop, daily pain. I was warned... things will get worse. However, I don't think they can get anyone mentally ready, prepared for the amount of pain an oncology patient goes through, when things continue worsening.
So far, nothing seems to be managing the overwhelming pain. It affects everything. So... I am moving up the next step to possibly get the pain under control. To the highest degree possible.
***
Pain can be caused by the cancer itself. Pain happens when the cancer grows into or destroys nearby tissue. As the tumor grows, it presses on nerves, bones and organs. The tumor can also release chemicals that can cause pain.
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Free Yourself...My Journey 
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

2022... I May Have... ✔️💡🕯

 
This video was from last month, 2022.
The animals never cease to amaze me throughout my life. Especially these two caught on the back porch security cameras.
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Yesterday afternoon, I found out about a family member that passed away... well... I really don't like the saying, "Passed Away." 
They went back home to a place where there is no pain. Where everyone loves everyone... unconditionally. And peace is for eternity.
Where there is no ill will, but instead... love with no boundaries among one another. 
I wouldn't like... but firmly believe, that this is just a mere pre-determined place. A middle ground, pit-stop of some sorts of a life already written for us, earth.
Where our life really exists, is a place far up in the skies. A place that I know exists... even all of our beloved fur babies. Yes, even where I can still walk among them, like Snow White. Where our soul comes alive and love never dies...
Heaven
♡~Kimberly 
❤️❤️🕯❤️❤️
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

This Year... 🤔✔️👏

 
Like... I was told by those that are concerned of your excessive drinking, driving while drunk and buying liquor for people and getting drunk at their houses. Mind you this is what they are telling me...
 You also want to play oncologist and God.
 Telling people... that is really none of their business, that you expect me to die any day.
Wow! You look like a @*@#! who has no respect at all for people who are sick and...
 Remember mean people, like myself, are usually given extra time by God and the universe. Why you may ask? Probably because they need to make sure to teach a lesson to people like you still on Earth.
 So be careful, looking weird and gory, as someone said talking... when talking about me dying any day. Because let's face it... the way you're drinking, you're going to meet the maker l-o-n-g before I ever will. 
 Be careful drinking-driving and partying it up with anyone that's under age, or buying anyone under the age of 21 liquor. 
 But... in the meantime...
I'll pray for you. 
✔️🤫✔️
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

HELLO👋... New Year... New ME 🎉👱‍♀️🖐

 
I really don't care who you're screwing or who you're seeing.
 However...
What I do care about is when you insert my name to everyone in the little lazy river town and for the 4th and final time... it comes back to me. My silence has now been broken. I will respectfully stick up for myself and speak up. 
You admitted to never in 11 years, buying me or the fur kids anything... letting us down.
You can't even buy the animals one thing for Christmas... but you're buying per girls and women, "Liquor gifts and other food items with bill money that is for agreed upon, "BILLS." 
I am no longer quiet.
I ask you no further conversation on things that are my privacy... but like vomit... you tell everyone, their brother mother and cousin in an area I'm not even from...
 So don't expect me to respect you. It's as easy as that.
As for the strangers who questioned if I knew this individual... others had more things to say. I don't respond until I have enough facts. Thank you for showing me, I can still trust my fellow women, ladies to be quite frank and brutally... honest.
👍👍🖐👍👍
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

Tis A New Year 🎉👱‍♀️🐶🎉 2023!

 
My PET scan is scheduled for next week. I had to go on new medication this week that... I fought so hard to stay away from.
Sometimes you have to face what's in front of you with grace, and dignity. It's been a long 6 year battle. We don't know what the scan will show. However, we do know my ongoing pain has only gotten worse. 
Like each new year... life is ever changing. I have learned through experience. It's far easier sometimes to face reality.
All else fails... there's always Nashe!
❣️😁😂😅❣️
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com
 

Stepping Away 👣👣🐾🐾 Wishing Everyone A HAPPIEST New Year 2023!

 
"I show them the funny part, the silly part, the laughing part, the crazy part and then the really deep, deep part where I'm talking from my heart to these people. Because I've been through everything they've been through."
👣👣❣️🐾🐾
Free Yourself...My Journey
freeyourselfmyjourney@yahoo.com